We love to laugh

We love to collect your jokes, so send 'em on in! Who knows… you may see your favorite one published here.

A mom and her son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of cookies and started spreading them all over the table. His Mom asked him “What are you doing?” He answered: “On the box it says you shouldn’t eat them if the seal is broken, so I’m looking for the seal.”

Teacher: George, go to the map and find North America, please.
George: (pointing) Here it is!
Teacher: Very good. Now, class, do you know who dicovered America?
Class: George did!

A chicken walks into a library, goes up to the librarian and says “Book!” The librarian gives the chicken a book and it leaves. The next day, the chicken brings it back and says“Book!” The librarian gives the chicken another book and it leaves. The next day, the chicken comes back again with the book and says “Book!” And the librarian gives it yet another book. But the librarian is curious, so when the chicken leaves, he follows. Soon they arrive at a pond. He watches as the chicken walks up to a frog and shows him the book. The frog says “Reddit.”

A farmer is milking his cow when he sees a fly zoom right into the cow’s ear. The cow doesn’t seem to mind, so he keeps on milking her. A few minutes later, he sees the fly in the pail of milk and exclaims “In one ear, out the udder.”

Q: What’s the last thing that crosses a bug’s mind when it hits a windshield?
A: Its butt.

Q: How can you tell when there’s an elephant in your fridge?
A: There are footprints in the butter.

Q: How many elephants can you fit in an empty phonebooth?
A: One, because after that it’s not empty any more.

Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A: Time to buy a new fence.

Q: How do you get an elephant into an oak tree?
A: You sit it on an acorn and wait 100 years.

Two grains of sand are in the desert. One says to the other “I think we’re being followed…”

Two muffins are in an oven: Muffin 1: It’s pretty hot in here, isn’t it? Muffin 2: Ahhhhh! A talking muffin!

Q: Why do flamingos stand on one leg?
A: Because if they lifted both they would fall down.

Three people have a boating accident and get stuck on a deserted island. One day, they discover a lamp on the beach and when they rub it, a genie pops out. “For setting me free, I will grant you each one wish”, the genie says. The first person wishes: “I want to go home” and POOF! The second person wishes: “I want to go home too!” and POOF! The third person says: “I’m lonely: I want my friends back.”